The Kids Are Not All Right

I recently read a blog whose writer was appalled at the lack of sympathy for Britney Spears, especially from middle aged women. She couldn't understand why these women with daughters Britney's age were so vehement in their criticisms of her. I guess she figured that "there but for the grace of God" were their daughters. However, I think she missed the point; that being that they were critical of her as a mother of very small children, & I can understand that. Although I do believe that Britney has an undiognosed mental illness (probably bi-polar disorder or maybe post-partum depression, or both), even I - who am as sympathetic as anyone in the world concerning this - can't help but wonder how she cannot think of her children first in all circumstances. I believe any good mother would wonder this. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter what your accomplishments are in other areas of your life (& I'm talking about both men & women here): if you fuck up your kids, you're an abject failure (& an asshole).

I know people say this all the time, but there really should be some sort of test everyone needs to take before being allowed to have kids ("Heil" to you, too - I know, I know). It's frightening to me how totally unsuited, unfit & sometimes downright dangerous some people are who have kids. Maybe it's because some people (especially women) still feel that they're viewed as selfish or not normal (or whatever) not to have kids. But I believe that if you don't especially want kids, for whatever reason, the desire to be a good parent isn't really there. Providing for their material needs isn't enough by a longshot. It is just as important to meet their emotional needs.

But back to Britney (I'm sort of obsessed with the subject lately, much to my own chagrin). Coming from the South, where people tend to both get married & have kids (in whichever order) somewhat younger than in other places, perhaps she felt it was expected of her, although I'm not altogether convinced that at least the second kid (if not the first) was expected. Unfortunately, she didn't have a very good role model. Her own mother has always used & exploited both of her daughters shamelessly. Using your own children as a meal ticket is an unforgivable sin, & I honestly believe that Lynne Spears will have to answer to God for that. So Britney already had that strike against her. Complicating things also is that the poor girl just isn't that bright. When she had people looking out for her (even though I'm not sure exactly what that means in her case) she seemed to be able to function, albeit as a robot. Her downward spiral seemed to start when she & Justin Timberlake broke up. Maybe he was sort of her anchor to some kind of reality, 'cause she seemed to lose her grasp on it soon after. Anyway, it's a really sad situation, especially for those adorable children, & I feel bad for all of them & I keep hoping there's someone in Britney's life who finally is able to reach out to her & convince her to get help before it's too late. The somewhat tarnished silver lining in this is that maybe it will make other parents of celebrity children think a little harder about what they're doing to their kids.